In a perfect scenario all parties involved in a breakup or divorce would be able to act rationally and cordially. But in the real world we know that moving on is filled with emotions, pain, and stress. As if moving isn’t stressful enough now add the burden of a breakup or divorce on top of it. It is normal to feel unbelievably overwhelmed, anxious, or depressed; sometimes a combination of all three.
One Party Moving Out
If involved in a breakup or divorce try to make your transition out of the joint residence quickly. You probably have the desire to find the perfect place for the next chapter of your life, but by prolonging your stay you’re only adding fuel to whatever issues caused the split to begin with. Rather than living where there is tension and making things uncomfortable for everyone, consider putting your belongings into storage and either crashing at a friend’s house or getting an extended stay hotel or temporary furnished apartment. Many budget-friendly hotels accept week or month-long reservations.
As you’re moving out, maintain proper ‘exit’ etiquette in all your dealings with your ex-husband or ex-wife. Do not allow yourself to be in a situation where you are alone with them. Instead, bring a friend or family member with you to vouch for you in case things get out of hand. Whether you are having friends help or are hiring movers, be respectful of their belongings. You wouldn’t want your property destroyed if the shoe was on the other foot so make every effort to make a peaceful and clean exit from the relationship and from the shared premises.
Both Parties Moving Out
The game changes a little if both parties are moving out of their shared residence due to the divorce or breakup. Responsibilities need to be shared and clear communication must happen between both parties. There is nothing wrong with hiring a mediator or lawyers to help in the fair and accurate division of assets.
Agree upon a move-out date, this should be a drop-dead date in which both individuals have completely vacated the premises. Don’t make your life more stressful and decide to move out on the same day. Make lists of the different tasks that need to be completed and assign a party not only for the action but for the financial responsibility as well. Items on that list might include: turning off utilities, hiring a cleaning service, or gathering school records for the kids.
As you split the household goods – furniture, appliances, collectibles, old photos and everything else – designate separate areas of the home as staging areas for the different parties to place items they will be keeping and moving. For example, one person can use the spare room while the other uses the garage. This will help reduce clutter around the home, which also escalates stress.
Let us know how we can help if you’re dealing with a breakup or divorce combined with the rigors of moving. Be sure to also check out our blog about relieving stress once all the moving is over.